When we last left our intrepid contestant, she was following a bunch of goddam picky guidelines to enter the PNWA contest. Reducing an 80,000-word manuscript to a 5-page synopsis was a real trip, and I considered just mailing the thing off a major accomplishment.
Which was a good thing, because "Killer Robots Never Work" didn't make the cut as a finalist. They did, however, send along two long critiques of the synopsis and first 50 pages.
Judge No. 1 was apparently drinking heavily when he/she read my stuff, because No. 1 loved the Killer Robots, thought the writing was wonderful (blush), liked the fake explosion of Aphrodite City and called it an "entertaining, interesting and imaginative story." No. 1 had some good suggestions as well, like cutting detail out of the synopsis and easing into some of the characters and changes so that the reader can keep up. This story is about two twin sisters, and No. 1 felt that while Percy's character and motivation was immediately clear, Andie's needed more work. Grade: 87 out of 100.
Judge No. 2 seemed to like it too. No. 2 liked the synopsis and the plot, really liked the physical descriptions of the first planet, Venus, and said it was a pleasure to read. The judge also said "this is a strong storyline and would be enjoyed by the readers of this genre, especially those who enjoy stories in the style of de Lint and Asmov." (I haven't read either -- perhaps I should.) But No. 2 also wanted to understand my main character, Andie, better and said the dialogue between the twins was stiff. The most interesting criticism was that the pacing was was "a bit boringly the same," with suggestions how to vary it. Despite all the positives, No. 2 graded it 61 out of 100.
So, all in all, I'm pleased with the Pretty Nervous Aardvarks and plan to enter next year. It's always encouraging to know people will take one's weird writing somewhat seriously and not send people to your house with a butterfly net.
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